The End (For Now)

            So, of course I learned some awesome technical skills, and I feel really good about the travel skills I’ve acquired, but I think the biggest change I’ve noticed through the semester has been my confidence level while traveling.  At first I was really afraid to take any chances.  I’d get stuck, and I’d over think things so much that I’d be afraid to move.  But lately, I haven’t been quite so worried about trying something that may or may not work.  I really think this confidence arose as I began to trust myself and the people keeping me safe more.  So, I suppose I take from this lesson the fact that to have my students feel confident and be successful, I’ve got to build strong rapport and trust, but I’ve also got to take the time to help them become more confident in their own skills.

           

            One change that I didn’t really put together until this weekend was that my expectations of blind people are even higher than they were before.  I think before I was afraid to challenge what I thought were bad traveling skills, but now that I have some knowledge, I know for sure they were bad skills, though I won’t be challenging much until I’m all certified and legit.  I see a real correlation between dependence and poor O&M skills.  I was at camp this past weekend, and I just couldn’t believe the horrible skills that the majority of our campers have.  About half of the campers walked off the back of the trailer from the hayride holding their cane under their arms.  There was complete trust that someone else would tell them about the two drop offs and keep them safe.  It makes me so angry that other people facilitated this dependence and also that our campers don’t do anything about it.  I think O&M skills really are the key skill and the difference between being successful and being an awkward, dependent blind person.  I think it bothers me so much because I think sighted people make so many excuses for blind people.  “Oh, but they’re blind, so they can’t possibly do something hard.”  Of course, without the high expectations, they never will.  Here’s where our class comes in: since I’ve done so many of these O&M tasks myself, I’m not really too sympathetic to blind people.  I know it’s scary, and we’ve just had a taste of how nerve-wracking being blind could be, but I’ve learned that you’ve just got to suck it up and keep moving, even when you’re scared.

            I’ve also developed a lot more confidence in my teaching.  The whole time we were inside, I really dreaded teaching because I was so worried I would mess up, and as a result, Lauren wouldn’t learn what I wanted to teach her.  I think I finally realized that if I think carefully and keep my student safe, then we will both be successful. 

            So, I’m really, really excited to keep learning more semester.  I just love the mental challenge and the problem solving, and I can’t wait to try more. 

Streets: Day 3

            Today was a really good day.  I wasn’t afraid to go under blindfold like I’ve been before.  Maybe I was too tired and cold to worry; I’m not sure what the deal was, but I like the result.  Worrying less caused me to make fewer mistakes and be more successful.  Being successful on the first steps made me more confident, and as I got more confident, I became more comfortable.  I can see a day when I’m not so totally consumed by the mechanics of moving the cane and my body in sync that I can begin to take in environmental information more naturally and perhaps even enjoy the walk.  For the first time, I could listen to everyone else’s conversations without missing lots of steps.  Obviously, my skills have a long way to go, but it’s nice to feel so hopeful!  Take home lesson: help students be successful.  It colors their perceptions in the best ways.

            Teaching Billy went pretty well, I think.  Billy’s a good traveler, so that helps.  I think I’ve just got to learn that I’m not going to know everything I’m supposed to teach in every single given environment.  Environments are so unique and have so many complex issues.  So, I’ve just got to teach the things the environment presents to me when they are presented.  Outside on the streets, there is so much to teach that it can’t all possibly be taught.  So, I think knowing that gives me some freedom and ease of mind.  I should teach what comes up and things that will be important, and if I miss something the first time around, more opportunities will present themselves.  I know I’ve read this and heard this non-stop from Mickey, but O&M is not an exact science, but I think it’s finally starting to sink in. 

           

            There’s fairly tired educational jargon that says “assessment drives instruction.”  I think it’s particularly true in O&M.  It’s subtle though, because you are constantly assessing.  The skills build so you can’t really move on until earlier ones are mastered.  It seems to hold true in O&M.  You teach what needs to be taught, when it needs to be taught.  What the child needs to learn is what you need to teach him.

            Interestingly, teaching today helped me confirm more of my technical skills.  You have to know the skills well to teach them to someone.  Still, I noticed saying things to Billy that I wasn’t sure I knew yet myself, surprised they spilled out of my mouth.  Example: I have been really nervous about not noticing an intersection and walking right into it, resulting.  Today, when I was teaching Billy, I saw his anxiety increase as he approached the intersection.  Like me, he stopped too far away from the traffic, likely afraid he was in the intersection.  Then, before I realized it, I was helping Billy run through the criteria: sloping down, idling parallel traffic, near perpendicular traffic, truncator bumps.  I didn’t yet feel comfortable practicing the skill myself, but having to help Billy run through it helped to solidify it in my mind.  Obviously, when I’m for real teaching, I’ll have the skills down, but it was still interesting to see myself learning something while teaching it.

            The FM transmitters really helped.  I’m glad we are using those since it makes hearing so much easier.  All in all, it was a pretty cool way to end the semester.