So, I didn’t die. I was so sure that I would wipe out and break my face. My anxiety was so incredibly high. I kept running thought all the things that could go wrong. Those thoughts made it so hard to focus on anything other than the stairs. At times, I had to take a moment to calm myself down, as if I were truly distraught. There was a lot of tension for a simple set of stairs!
Though I couldn’t think about anything else, I couldn’t even think clearly about the stairs. It was like I was just reeling from all the non-productive thoughts. At times, I was focusing on so many thoughts and ideas that I couldn’t keep anything straight in my mind. That’s when the big errors came in, I think. It was also really hard to be sure I was doing the right thing without the visual feedback. It’s hard to pay attention to how things feel (especially when I’m sure I’ll bite the dust any minute) when I’ve spent a lifetime learning by how things look.
So, I stumbled several times, and once, I was pretty much a goner, but Mickey kept me from falling. That really built a lot of confidence both in Mickey’s ability to keep me safe and by ability to not get hurt. So thanks, Mickey. I’m grateful. I feel better about the stairs, but I’m not still crazy about them. I definitely need some more practice before I feel truly comfortable with stairs.
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