Some Thoughts

Lauren looked great on Thursday.  Her anxiety was so much lower.  Because she was successful, I felt like I was a good teacher.  As a result, I was much more relaxed.  I still struggle with saying exactly the right words in the right amounts, but I feel like I’m going to have it right one day.

Amber did amazingly as well.  I was so totally impressed.  She looked great and she and Billy work so well together.

You really can’t stop moving when you’re traveling. Because when you do, you stop getting tactile feedback.  It really does seem like reading braille.  If you stop and perseverate on one spot, then you stop getting new information to figure things out.  When I get stuck, I know I should probably move on, but I think I’m afraid I’ll lose my grip on the reality I have.  But, it seems like you’ve really got to construct the reality of the environment as it is presented to you instead of trying to make a single auditory and tactual “snapshot” of it fit into your conception of the environment.

Even though everything went so well, that spot on the south side of College between Duval and Bronough still gave me some trouble. The next time it’s my turn, I want to try to find the “feel” of that hill again.  It was very helpful to let the hill take me down the sidewalk.  There was some crazy proprioceptive feedback there that I don’t know how to describe.  I think it’d take some practice for that technique to be fail-proof though there is definitely potential.

The faster I walked, along my route the more natural it seemed, and I felt way more confident.  I didn’t feel like a bumbling idiot.  Walking more quickly really built my confidence.

Walking through the St. Patrick’s Day merriment was interesting.  I just tried to visualize our corner and look confident while I walked.  Once I got to the thickest crowd, though, I could not use the sounds I was hearing because they were so loud and coming from so many unpredictable locations.   So here, I really had to depend on the direction I’d determined and the feedback from the cane.  I was really totally dependent on tactual clues.  I couldn’t use the traffic sounds; I couldn’t even hear Macomb for all the other noise.  I was amazed it worked; it was all very jedi – feel the force, you know?  Is that what it’s like to be deaf-blind?  If so, we should have a bit of O&M practice doing that because it was almost surreal, traveling like that.

It was absolutely amazing to have a great lesson after several rough ones.  I was really beginning to think I wasn't very good at this, so I'm grateful to have demonstrated to myself otherwise!